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Farewell's and fresh starts.

Yan Yan Chan

[photo diary]


All in all, after about 4-5 months of misguidance, questionings and WTF am I doing's, I finally feel a sense of contentment. Whether it was the endless amount of times I spent alone thinking in absolute angst and dialing up a friend (soz and thank u joseph) or all those extremely empowering times where conversations with friends and strangers were made up of sharing, listening and talking about actual things and not people.

And so it goes, when it comes to anything creative, there will be these moments when you need to sometimes just take a step back, freak out for as long as you need, reflect on everything you've done in the past (how ever many days/months/years), remind yourself what is truly important to you and think back to that very day or those first few moments of why you started it all. 

And for me, it was to document.

To create a space where I was able to experiment with fashion, art, photography and capture all the good memories. 

I've been gone a long long while.. so many things have changed the past month, so many that I nearly cannot keep up with. There have been feelings of exhaust, creative blocks, lack of motivation, heartbreak, pure happiness, a lot of laughter, a lot of tears, new friendships, parting from old ones and learning to let go of things that have been apart of my life for the last 4-5 years, that aren't just right for the time being. 

A lot of times this year, I just couldn't help but feel a whole load of misdirection in all aspects of life, there have been about more than a hundred times where I have asked myself if this is what I really want to keep continuing on doing, if uni is something I want to finish, if people even care about what I write or document, and if what I'm doing right now in life is really making me happy, or if I should just move to the South of France, become a ceramist and delete all forms of social media out of my life. Bit dramatic, but when you're in those moments, thoughts like these just seem to be ok.


WE DROVE DOWN SOUTH FOR THE LONG WEEKEND and did nothing but lay on the beach, tan, eat pies, watch the boys surf and go for swims every time the sun dried us off. I came back with the first peel of Spring, feeling re-energised even though 2 days away from the city isn't anywhere near enough.



Breakfast (v): Pilgrims | The Settlement, 8/9 Hwy, Milton

Snack/Lunch: Hayden's Pies | 2/166 Princes Hwy, Ulludulla

Camp: Burril Pines

Drinks over sunset: Cupitt58 Washburton Rd, Ulludulla


THE KIT AND ACE THREE NIGHT STAND WAS locally sourced food, supporting local artists and up and coming creatives, getting to know one another over 'real talk' dinner conversations, learning from established creatives, what our values are, what our intentions are and what do we see for ourselves. OUR DAYS were filled with art gallery hopping, candle making w/ Elise Balzac from Maison Balzac, riding Chapelli bikes through the Hawkesbury river, home cooked meals, sailing through the Sydney Harbour AND NON STOP EATING AND DRINKING.


IT'S FUNNY HOW THINGS WORK IN LIFE, THE ORDER OF HOW THINGS HAPPEN. WHAT OCCURS TODAY MAY NOT SEEM SO GREAT, BUT WHAT OCCURS TOMORROW MAY JUST FIX ALL THOSE TERRIBLE FEELINGS YOU FELT THE PREVIOUS DAY. This is what happened when I said Yes to KIT & ACE's three night stand. During this period of time, I found out I failed a subject at uni, which prevented me to transfer into a new course - a course I held all hopes for to transfer into throughout the entire year. They basically told me // You can't transfer because your academic standing isn't high enough. // MAJORLY BUMMED OUT, added with mixed feelings about other things that were going on in that period of time.. I felt entirely shitty, as if I wasn't good enough, but that's the problem with uni and anything that is institutionally structured. There are rules, everything is based on marks and if you're good on paper, you're good at uni - this is a generalisation, but basically that's what it is. But after a weekend spent with KIT & ACE.. all these feelings mellowed away, and I decided it wasn't a big deal after all. The weekend was focused on each person's dreams, goals, fears.. thoughts you think of but never acknowledge or deal with, intentions, our values and what visions we have for ourselves. We did an Intentions workshop on the last morning spent together - I would scan mine, but it's a little personally and frightening for people to see.. but I'll have to put up the originally doc for you guys. It's truly eye opening. 


I TURNED 21 NOT SO LONG AGO, WITH SOME OF MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE EVER. Aperol Spritz by the sunset on Watson's Bay Hotel, drank till sun-down and danced till almost sunrise. ON THE 28TH, the day of my birth and the night of the blood-moon, we road our bikes down North Bondi, laughed at our friendship bracelets, went for a swim in the ocean and watched the luna rise. It's scary and kind of funny how quick things change in just a few weeks. 


I WENT TO MY FIRST TAME IMPALA GIG IN 2010. Those were my hipster days, where vintage everything was ok and paisley head ties were worn. We bought a bottle of passion pop with my friend's fake ID, danced and sung out lungs out to Kevin Parker's Inner Speaker; where we fell in love.. and the rest is history.

14.10.2010, Tame Impala - Enmore Theatre

02.05.2013, Tame Impala - Hordern Pavillion

26.07.2015, Tame Impala - Splendour in the Grass

11.11.2015, Tame Impala - Sydney Opera House



ONLY A VERY SMALL PORTION OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES I HAD.. So many memories, so much fun and so many amazing home cooked meals. Bondi apartment.. it's been real. I'll miss yah.